A Letter to My Father on the Anniversary of His Passing

[This letter is now available in audio on YouTube]

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Dad,

It doesn’t seem possible that I’ve lived without you for an entire year. And then in the moments when I needed to call you, ask your advice, ask questions about the family members who passed away years ago, the feeling is indelible. I remembered New York winters when you’d sprinkle cat litter over the ice covered driveway. Why? Was it more effective than ice melt? Or just cheaper? Was it a special kind of cat litter that you used? Or just the cheapest? When I was walking gingerly across the ice from my porch to my car, I thought I’d call you and ask, and then I remembered.

Occasionally while searching my inbox for an email, I’d find one from you included in the results. The last email you sent me was in response to an argument us kids were having about mom’s 70th birthday. Mary and I wanted to plan a surprise for her the way we planned a…