So Let’s Talk About the 5 *Hate* Languages
13 min readMar 7, 2022
We are all pretty knowledgeable by now of Gary Chapman’s famous sociological theory of The Five Love Languages first published in 1992.
If not, here’s a brief rundown.
- Each person has a primary and secondary “love language.”
- Their love language for showing love might be different from the language they like to receive love in.
The Love Languages are:
- Words of Affirmation — saying “I love you” and other affirming phrases.
- Physical Affection — kissing, sex, hand holding, PDA
- Acts of Service — performing favors, doing chores, taking over a responsibility, doing what someone asks them to do
- Gifts — jewelry, being paid for when dining out, flowers, etc. Gifts can sit on a blurred line with “Acts of Service” if the gift buyer saw their partner ran out of trash bags and they bought more, or if their partner said they wanted to try out a new gym class and they purchased a pass for them, etc. etc.
- Quality Time — setting aside time to go out and do something special or to go out to dinner regardless of who pays or staying in together to watch TV.
